27 November 2021
Abandoned by God?
‘So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand … Do not fear; I will help you.’ Isaiah 41: 10, 13
Current position: Senior House Officer in Radiology, Singapore. Current location: Copper Kettle earoom, overlooking King’s College, Cambridge UK. Current time: one day before the results of the examination for Fellowship of the Royal College of Radiologists Part 1 (second attempt).
The months since my failure have been numbing and to fail again would threaten my traineeship. I’m also involved in a medico-legal enquiry, uncertain personal relationships and the start of on-call duties. I have felt boxed in and abandoned by God. So, armed with the Bible and my textbooks, I have shut myself off from the intrusions of the outside world and rediscovered him.
I have realised that for the last few years I had kept God for the occasional Sunday when not on call. I’d been too involved with the attractions of the world: fine food and wine, frequent holidays, expensive purchases and non-Christian company. I realised that it was not God who had abandoned me, but I who had abandoned him. My countrymen claim to pursue the ‘5Cs’: cash, credit card, car, condominium and country club. I’d attained these early on, but cannot deny that I still desire the good life. Wherever we are in our careers, affluence will make us vulnerable to losing sight of God. He always has to make the first move to remind us of his presence.
Whatever the examination results tomorrow, today I feast my eyes on the calm beauty of King’s College and am reminded of God’s steadfast goodness throughout my life. As I renew my daily relationship with him, the cares of this world can safely be left on his shoulders.
Read: Psalm 22